17 dating a 21 year old
A flawed article in an issue of Newsweek sent women into paroxysms of fear of spinsterhood when it claimed that women who weren’t married by 40 would be married and had better odds of being killed by terrorists.In Japan, there are references to a woman as a “Christmas cake” – it may look tasty, but nobody wants it after the 25th.There is no difference between a person who has had sex and someone who hasn’t.Even a woman’s hymen is no demarcator of virginity; many will rupture their hymen long before they’ve had penetrative vaginal intercourse.The fear for guys is that by being a virgin past this nebulous date, they will have not only missed their chance to sew their wild oats – because of course, nobody over the age of 35 has no-strings-attached sex but they will be so clearly marked as “damaged goods” that no woman would possibly want them.They live in fear that no woman would want to have to “show them the ropes” and as a result, their lack of experience will leave them completely incapable of living up to the demands and expectations of a more-experienced partner; thus they have effectively aged out of the dating market and are doomed to die alone, unloved and having never been naked with a girl.Because of all of the importance placed on the concept of virginity, people are convinced that having passed some arbitrary cut-off point that they have rendered themselves utterly unfuckable and have somehow missed on a critical aspect of growing up.They may get older but they will never truly be Virginity has an outsized level of influence in Western culture, especially in countries with large conservative religious communities; the idea of sex and “purity” get completely intertwined and then but up against gender roles that completely contradict those values.
In fact, you could reasonably equate the two; more often than not, you wait for too damn long for a thrill that’s over in under 3 minutes and half the time you’re wondering what the big deal was.
Women on the other hand are taught that their sexual desirability has a built in expiration date; pass a specific point and nobody will have want to have sex with you, not when they could bang someone younger instead.
This gets especially caught up in the (admittedly old-fashioned) idea of women being an “old maid” if they haven’t found a partner or spouse by an equally random age.
Still others will be unpleasantly needy or put all of their focus on just trying to find someone to sleep with, instead of dealing with them as people.
Small wonder that they have issues finding that first sex partner; it’s their that ends up causing them problems, rather than their relative state of inexperience.
It won’t magically give you confidence that you didn’t have before, it won’t change how you think or make you empirically more or less attractive.